I’ve no business in show business

I've no business in show business,
It's no business for me
Everything about me is appalling,
Ever since they put me on TV
I know why the viewing figure's falling,
I'm not enthralling, like I should be.
I've no business in show business
No track-record or form
Despite that, I believed that I had found her
The girl to take the music world by storm
And so what if the music all but drowned her?
She stood her ground, her
Applause was warm
I know people, like show people,
That's how I got this show
Yesterday you told me I would not go far
But here I am, so, mister, there you are,
Though my show is lousy, I am still its star
Who says I'm not a pro?
The butcher, the baker, the grocer, the clerk
Are secretly unhappy men because
The butcher, the baker, the grocer, the clerk
Are stuck with me despite my many flaws
They'd gladly bid my dreary show goodbye
For the Tory party conference, and why?
Because…I've no business in show business
But though business is slow,
And though I know that I can neither dance nor sing
Can't hoof like Kelly or croon like Bing
I get paid a fortune just to do my thing
Let's go on with the show…let's go on with the show!

There’s no business like show business (original lyric)

Words and music by Irving Berlin

There's no business like show business,
Like no business I know
Everything about it is appealing;
Everything that traffic will allow
Nowhere could you get that happy feeling,
When you are stealing that extra bow

There's no people like show people,
They smile when they are low
Even with a turkey that you know will fold,
You may be stranded out in the cold
Still you wouldn't change it for a sack of gold,
Let's go on with the show!

The butcher, the baker, the grocer, the clerk
Are secretly unhappy men because
The butcher, the baker, the grocer, the clerk
Get paid for what they do but no applause.
They'd gladly bid their dreary jobs goodbye for anything theatrical and why?

There's no business like show business,
And I tell you it's so,
Travelling through the country is so thrilling;
Standing out in front on opening nights
Smiling as you watch the theatre filling,
And there's your billing, out there in lights

There's no business like show business,
Like no business I know
You get word before the show has started
That your favourite uncle died at dawn
Top of that, your pa and ma have parted,
You're broken-hearted, but you go on

There's no people like show people,
They smile when they are low
Yesterday they told you you would not go far,
That night you open and there you are,
Next day on your dressing room they've hung a star,
Let's go on with the show!!

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